Living within the Sweet Spot Podcast - Anger, Good or Bad
Life Coaching
Life Coaching


If you are patient in one moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
Chinese Proverbs

Polls show that we are angrier than we were a generation ago. We aren’t surprised by this.
We can even sense the anger increasing in our country and around the world.

THE PROBLEM: the problem isn’t being angry…. IT’S WHEN WE SIN IN OUR ANGER. Think about it. You’ve had a parent, a coach or even a boss who has been angry at you but yet it didn’t ruin you…you partially knew they were right AND IN THE LONG RUN IT WAS WHAT YOU NEEDED AND IT LATER HELPED YOU.

So if being angry isn’t the problem then when does it go bad… and become sin?

Anger is a normal emotion that all of us experience. Jesus displayed anger in the temple when he chased out the money changers. (John 2:14-16; Matthew 21:13).

Anger can be justified. However, physical, emotional, and spiritual problems can occur when we deal with our anger negatively.

THE WORD: In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul gives us wise advice on how to react when we’re angry.

Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-31, NLT “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.”

In these verses, the Apostle Paul shares specific steps that we can take to deal with our anger.

  • Begin by asking if your anger is controlling you. Try writing down what you have observed about your behavior. Or, if you are brave enough, ask someone else what they notice when you are angry.
  • Don’t go to bed angry. If it is possible, talk it out with the person with whom you are angry. If you can’t talk to the person, lay your anger at God’s feet and ask him to show you if you are part of the problem and to give you wisdom and peace in dealing with it.
  • Watch your language.Make sure it is not dishonoring to God, whether it is the words you are choosing to use to express yourself or what you are saying about another person.
  • Choose words and actions that will help resolve the situation and encourage those around you.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to help you monitor your behavior and guide you into taking appropriate actions.
  • Remind yourself that when you let anger control you, it can lead to bitterness, rage, harsh words, and slander. Not only is this harmful to others, it also harms your well-being and your Christian witness.

THE GIFT: First line of defense against sin is God. God knows that anger is a normal feeling that we humans experience, and he gives us the tools to positively deal with our anger. God has given us the first line of self-defense against sin when we get angry — bring our anger to him.

  • Raises up others (encourage)
  • Relationships whole. (Anger controls you or the Holy Spirit grows you)
  • Redeemed (Jesus) get rid of

THE CHOICE: Each one of us can choose to use our anger for good or bad. Psychologist James Averill, University of Massachusetts, Amherst, explains that expressing our anger thoughtfully and respectfully can:

  • Open up a dialogue with another person and increase their willingness to listen.
  • Create an atmosphere where everyone is more accommodating to resolve the issue.
  • Cause the person who expressed his/her feelings to be happier after the episode.
  • Motivate us to undertake a difficult task and address it creatively.
  • Help the person who thoughtfully expresses his/her anger to be seen as a person who is competent and who can overcome challenges.

Anger is neither good nor bad; it is what we do with our anger that create one or the other. When we let anger fester and don’t deal with it positively, then it harms us and others and most importantly, dishonors God.

Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge. Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton


Brent:Help me, I want to be nice and start out conversations great, but when someone begins to sound like they don’t know what they are talking about, if they aren’t listening or refuse to help… I begin lose patience fast. I don’t want to I do.

YOU’RE NOT ALONE…Romans 7:15-20 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Sheila: Do you have any tips for AFTER I’ve sinned in my anger.

Clarity attracts- confusion repels — get to the truth, Lift is up, make it right.



Jesus looked at them & said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Math 19:26

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Niccie Kliegl CLC, RN